If that’s not happening, if you’re having to force things through or the stuff that does come naturally for you isn’t connecting with them, that could be a pretty good sign that they just aren’t the right person for you. In a way, this is an extension of the previous point – because you’re conversations shouldn’t just be limited to your dates themselves.
There’s another level here if you’re definitely looking for a committed relationship – you need to know the two of you can handle uncomfortable conversations as well as fun ones. If you’re getting along well, you should be texting/Whats Apping/IMing//emailing/i Messaging/some other dumb thing.
One of the most important things to think about is just how easily conversation flows between the two of you.
If you’re thinking about a potential long-term relationship here, that’s a lot of talking ahead of you – if you’re running out of stuff to say just a few dates in, you’ve gotta wonder how long you’re gonna be able to keep this up.
They don’t have to be the most beautiful creature you’ve ever laid eyes on, or be flawless, or even be better looking than your exes.
So maybe you’ve had a few dates with a potential love interest. But you’ve been here before with others in the past, and it hasn’t always worked out.
But, more importantly, the conversation should also be exciting.
You should look forward to their reply, you should check your phone every now and then to see if you missed a message, you should have that tiny frisson of worry every time you think it’s been a bit too long since they last said anything. You should be replying to them straight away – or at least thinking about it, mentally composing your response.
The point is, you should be chatting – and about more than just scheduling your next meetup.
Now, just like before, that conversation should mostly come pretty easily – though instant messaging is admittedly always a bit more stilted as you lose eye contact, body language, and all that other useful stuff.