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When there is a connection and a degree of trust, the abusers become unusually involved in their partner's feelings, thoughts and actions.

Next, they set petty rules and exhibit "pathological jealousy".

Often the abusers are initially attentive, charming and loving, gaining the trust of the individual that will ultimately become the victim, also known as the survivor.

Control may be helped through economic abuse thus limiting the victim's actions as they may then lack the necessary resources to resist the abuse.

Manipulators and abusers control their victims with a range of tactics, including positive reinforcement (such as praise, flattery, ingratiation, love bombing, smiling, gifts, attention), negative reinforcement, intermittent or partial reinforcement, psychological punishment (such as nagging, silent treatment, swearing, threats, intimidation, emotional blackmail, guilt trips, inattention) and traumatic tactics (such as verbal abuse or explosive anger).

Abusive power and control (also controlling behaviour and coercive control) is the way that an abusive person gains and maintains power and control over another person, as a victim, in order to subject that person to psychological, physical, sexual, or financial abuse.

The motivations of the abusive person are varied, such as personal gain, personal gratification, psychological projection, devaluation, envy or just for the sake of it as the abuser may simply enjoy exercising power and control.

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